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Sunday, November 16, 2008
I noticed that I usually don't write in this unless I have something really negative to talk about.
Well, I am actually very happy right now, so I figured I might as well share and catch up.
-I plan on graduating on time next year from NMU (but I am totally okay with the idea of staying 1 extra semester to retake classes if I need to). Marquette is a beautiful place to live.
-I am still an R.A. Sometimes it sucks, but I am well compensated, I thrive off of being busy and social, and I am 21 now so when I really need to get away I just go to the bar because my residents aren't old enough to be there. My house this year is actually really sweet.
-I have been dating Bradley for over 1 year now and it has been wonderful. I met him at Northern, but he is from Davison. My relationship with him is genuine, and thats a great feeling.
-I am coming home for Thanksgiving Christmas break (not all of Christmas break, but a good chunk of it) and spring break this year. I didn't come home last summer, and I think the last time I spent any significant amount of time in Fenton was summer 07.
-Okay 1 negative thing, I miss Jenny and I am super bummed that when I come home she won't be there. But, Thank god for technology and the internet.
~Jackie
Current mood:  calm
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
I talked to mom on the phone last night. I wanted to clear my conscience before signing the form saying I wasn't going to keep my R.A. job next semester. She then made it really clear to me that I can't afford to not do it again.
She can't co-sign on any of my loans (which I would need a lot more of without this job). I really couldn't argue with her. I know that I am broke, but I also know that I really hate my life sometimes with this job. We both cried, but now I know I need to suck it up for another year and sell my soul back the university.
It might not seem like a big deal, but my job literally consumes me 24 hours a day 7 days a week. I don't leave campus. I don't sleep. My friends consist of the 50 residents that live in my house + and the rest of the R.A. staff. I don't have privacy. I don't have free time. I don't have time. This is probably doesn't make sense to anybody that hasn't been in my position.
When does financial stability become more important than personal sanity? My sanity is ever diminishing, and I don't think my bank account will ever accommodate for that.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
I had a dream last night that my parents got a divorce. My family was torn to pieces and the last image from it was my sister Kim and I walking down a city street at night. I said "I don't believe in true love anymore." She said she didn't either. I woke up feeling depressed until I remembered that it didn't really happen.
hmmm. I feel like I am typing to an invisible audience.
All is well in Marquette, MI.
After the end of this semester I will no longer be an R.A. Once was enough, all though it was a good experience. I am in need of an apartment for the summer/next school year, and I think I am too scared and lazy to start looking.
I spent my day hiking around ice caves that were truly magnificent. After that I went to some hick bar with my friends that I went hiking with in the middle of no where. I can't imagine growing up in such tiny towns (as most towns are in the U.P.). I guess I would live in Marquette permanently though. It's not exactly tiny, and there really is a lot to do. Way more than in Fenton.
Sometimes it's hard for me to let go of people from my past. When I am on facebook I wonder why I am looking at pictures of people I will probably never see again. Why is it that our society is so obsessed with the life of every individual? I think in my case I just really treasure certain characteristics of people that I have met and good memories of them. I don't want to forget anyone or anything.
http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h55/jjthehobbit/JJbradonground2.jpg
Friday, August 10, 2007
Well, due to my new RA position this year I have been back at school and moved in since Sunday.
Training is insane, and because Northern takes the RA job more seriously then most schools, I can see how this might just kick my ass. I have learned a lot in just the few days that I have been here, and I really think that for the most part, I am really going to love this job (most aspects, minus busting peoples chops for partying/being loud, etc.). But playing babysitter is really only a small part of it. Mostly I am just getting paid to be social and help people adjust to college life. I like talking to people, so I think that I am going to like this.
I have been really stressed with training 24/7 though. Today however we went to the Little Presque Isle beach. Rather than swimming a big group of us went cliff jumping. I had never done it before (and anyone who knows the area well can see that its kind of intimidating).
BUT THEN... I felt compelled to jump. Instead of doing the 20 foot leap, I did the 40. It was AMAZING!!!!!!
My stress for the moment, is gone. :)
I didn't bring a camera, so I stole this picture of the cliff I jumped. Maybe this weekend I will take some good ones of my own.
Current mood:  excited
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
12:17PM
Guilty Pleasure #87
Industrial night at club Necto.
Im not gonna lie, Jenny and I tore that shit up.
Any excuse to dress in costume and dance like crazy is a good one.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Its been quite a few months since my last bit of random stomach pain, but this time it hit me really hard when I was visiting Jenny.
I waited over 5 hours in the Genesys ER (they were very understaffed on Sunday night) puking up everything in my system and feeling excruciatingly sick. Once they hooked me up to a Morphine IV and gave me way to many embarrassing female exams, they told me monday morning that I was probably just "ovulating."
Wow, I wasn't aware that ovulating meant I should be sent home with a prescription for darvcets.
The pain just got worse and thankfully my family doctor sent me in for an emergency cat scan.
This showed that I definetly had a bad case of Appendicitis.
My appendix had actually swollen 7 times its normal size. Ovulating. psh. Anyways, I had surgery to remove it late wednesday night.
I am so relieved that they finally figured out what was wrong and that I wasn't just being a hypochondriac. I am also glad that this should be the end of my abnormal pains (once my stomach heals).
Current mood:  but relieved
Monday, May 21, 2007
10:00AM
This inbetween time before my summer job starts is killing me. I hate not having money.
This weekend was chaotic, but good.
-Friday consisited of drug tests and filling out paperwork for my job in Pontiac.
+That night I took a little trip to Ypsi and chilled in Jennys apartment with Kyle, Mac, and Al. A night on the front porch and less than 3 hours of sleep later..
+Jenny and I came back to Fenton, picked up Ryan and went to the Vince Dynamic CD Release Show in Saginaw. Every band was good. It was strange being in that crowd and not knowing anyone though. We stuck around afterword while Ryan interviewed Vince Dynamic. They were hillarious.
+Sunday Ryan, Jenny and I took another trip. This time to Huntington woods for the city-wide garage sale because we are just that cool. We came back with a car full of posters, clothing, fabric, furniture, and books. Retail therapy is always amazing.
Current mood: lazy
Friday, May 11, 2007
I am officially home from college for the summer.
I start my new job at Oakland County Animal Shelter on May 29th.
Basically I will be walking around Auburn Hills knocking on doors and checking if people have their dogs registered. I think its funny that all year I have been getting really authoritative jobs (security at school, RA next semester, and now this), yet I am not a very authoritative person.
I will be working
Tuesday-Saturday 11-7pm. So on the off time, hopefully I can catch up with all of the people that I havn't hung out with in ages. Now I have a car too, so that is conveniant. I wish I started work sooner, I hate being broke.
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Snowday today!
It had been nice out all week. Then out of no where it began to blizzard outside.
I got the RA job that I have been applying for.
Not that I want to play the part of dorm babysitter, but it will really help with my finances for next semester.
I think it will be a busy and stressful job, but fun because I really enjoy working with most people.
Jenny is coming to visit me in one week. That will be sweet.
I also decided to change my major. I have been thinking about this for a long time. I know it may seem a little far fetched, but I am going for Graduate Bound English. In high school I felt like I struggled with my writing because I was very unmotivated. I decided right away that high school was a waste of time, and I was right.
I didn't apply myself then like I do now. I take classes that I actually benefit from. I have been writing constantly, and because I am writing by choice, I enjoy doing it a lot. I don't want to teach at the high school level that was my original plan. I want to teach at a college. I hated high school then, I would probably hate it later. I don't like being restricted, and discussing things that are deemed "high school appropriate." Few things in my life are "high school appropriate." I want to discuss and write about things that matter to me, and not the school board. I also get the same sense of accomplishment from my writing that I do from my artwork. Although both are improving. One of my English Professor's really influenced this decision. I really admire her, so when she suggested it to me I felt inspired. This may fade, we shall see.
I am one credit short of an art history minor.
I love college, and my new Boyfriend of a little over one month, Chris.
Life is good
Current mood:  accomplished Current music: X.I.Y.-Pinback
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
7:21PM
A strange feeling in the back of my throat is telling me that I might be getting sick.
I've been having a lot of strange feelings lately. Today I all but passed out in my room and had a series of odd dreams. The most interesting one was partially lucid. Something I havnt accomplished in quite some time.
Ive been in the process of applying to be an RA.
After days of workshops, I scored 2 interviews. Im going to my second one in a few minutes.
Im nervous but excited too.
It would be a lot of resonsibility, but it sure would help my financial situation.
Monday, February 19, 2007
6:49PM
My stomach/head has been more than a bit off for the past couple of days.
Now im sitting in the ER alone and it is so scary!
I really dislike hopsitals and the feeling of death all around me. Im in the waiting room and this girl just got admitted. She couldnt even stand because she was that sick. I feel like I am more likely to catch a disease here than cure my own problems.
gross.
I hope I don't have to wait too much longer.
Current mood:  scared
Sunday, February 18, 2007
7:53PM
Things change so quickly.
Tommy and I are on a break.
Valentines day came, and went, thank god.
Im coming home for spring break soon, but possibly leaving early
to go to a Margot and the Nuclear So & So's concert in Chicago with some friends.
I just need to save some more money, and possibly beg my grandmother.
Current mood:  sick Current music: tool-opiate
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
2:24PM
I think that I have been having important dreams lately, yet I can not for the life of me remember them when I wake up. And by lately I mean just this past 4 days. It's a strange feeling.
It's only the second day of classes and I have already read over 125 pages for homework (from the book "This Boy's Life," by Tobias Wolff), with quite a bit more than that to go. I think my social life might just go down the drain this semester. Whenever I do get time, I have plans to go snowshoeing around Presque Isle. Thats pretty random planing, but nevertheless, I am excited. Presque Isle is gorgeous.
Current mood:  tired Current music: barfight revolution
Sunday, January 14, 2007
I ended up coming back to school earlier than expected. Apart from leaving all of the fenton friends, (some of whom I never got the chance to see) I was very excited to be back in marquette. Once I got here, I regretted my decision. The dorms were empty, and the cafeteria does not open until today at 2.
Seeing as how I had no money or food, I had to bum a ride to walmart, return some cans, and buy a box of instant oatmeal that I have been living off of all week. I can no longer eat oatmeal. Thank god I will be able to eat real food in 30 minutes when the cafeteria opens. What a pathetic situation. haha. I am actually really looking forward to my first day of classes tommorow, and pilates.
Current mood:  hungry Current music: the mighty mighty bosstones
Friday, December 22, 2006
5:01AM
I hate holiday prep time. Its our turn to host the xmas family party so natually everyone has gone crazy. Im fairly certain that christmas brings out the worst in people, but inbetween all of the hectic-ness, it's nice bonding with my family. I can't spend time with many of my friends untill it's all over, but when it is, everyone call me for sure.
Grades are in. Somehow I pulled off all A's and B's. Woohoo!
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
I lucked out on my exams. I only have one real test. Today I just had to turn in a mousetrap car project. It was like 8th grade science all over again (except this was harder, and for a physical structures art class)! Mine didnt really go far but it looked pretty sweet. Thank god I have guy friends who know how to build things, or I so would have been screwed.
I have no tests at all tommorow, so this means that im going to: clean, make cookies, study and pack, because im coming home thursday (most likely)!
My friend Maegan from school is coming to stay with me the last week im home. Im pretty excited to be home for more than a couple days. I might actually get the chance to see everyone that I want too. I miss my friends from fenton, more than they probably know.
Tonight was the school Christmas dinner and I waited in line for a long time to get this cornbread stuff which im really addicted too. Then when I went to get silverware some girl knocked over my entire tray with her elbow and everything just sory of went flying. My water spilled all over my pants, and I didnt know weather to laugh or cry because it was just such a Jackie being clutzy moment. Lots of people were staring at me. I was momentarily pissed because I had to wait in line all over again. It was really funny though. I dont know why I feel like sharing this story.
Current mood:  chipper Current music: HIM-the sacrament
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
8:12PM
Today was my last class of English 111. I am kind of sad that it's over because we were all really good friends and it was fun. The teacher wrote that I was "this little bustle of positive energy" on my feedback. I hope thats codeword for, "I like you and you passsed my class." haha.
Im really happy today!
Current music: audioslave
Sunday, December 3, 2006
Last night was my first official panic attack at college. I was just about to go to bed when my leg got so stiff I thought I was having a blot clot. It was such a ridiculous thought, but i've just let myself become such a fucking hypochondriac. I started researching symptoms online and I got so scared I began crying uncontrollably. I knew in my mind that I was being retarded, but I could not for the life of me control it.
My roomate started laughing at me and proceeded to walk across the hall to inform all of my friends and boyfriend how stupid I was being. This didnt exactly help my stress level. I ended up calling my sister and her boyfriend who had to come escort me out of the dorms. It was so embarrasing. Now that im over it, I can see how i let things im worried about build up until I can't control my emotions. This typically happens to me at least once a year.
These are the things that have been stressing me out the most...
-My weight (I never should have started to count calories)
-My lovelife (I'll save this for another entry)
-My grades/exam week
-My health (Im definetly sick, and I hate it)
-Money (I don't have any and I NEED to buy people christmas presents)
-Rachel (I think the memory of this week last year has been floating around in the back of my mind all week).
-My future
Don't get me wrong, im not always this dramatic. I have a life filled with fun things and good times. I just hardly ever feel like I need to write those things down. I'll work on it.
p.s. We now have about 1/2 a foot of snow here.
Current mood:  stressed Current music: kings of convenience
Friday, November 17, 2006
3:41PM
I got up today at 8am and I am so awake. My roomate just left to go home for the weekend and I woke up to go eat breakfast with her. It seems like everyone here is already going home for thanksgiving break. I would too but I have a huge test on tuesday, (not to mention that I m scheduled to work a lot this weekend).
I am so glad that I have a chance to just be anti-social.
Typically I am never in my dorm, this weekend I do not want to leave it.
It will be a big stress reliever to just sit around, study, clean, draw, recover from being sick and listen to music in peace.
Next weekend I will be back in fenton, and I want to see as many people as possible (except when I first get back because my parents keep emphasizing family time).
Im driving back with my friend Ross (who is this crazy good dj). Meaning techno galore for the 7-8 hour drive.
We are leaving wednesday.
I do not particularly like thanksgiving, but I could go for some homemade mashed potatoes. mmmhmmmmm.
Current mood: calm Current music: everybody's stalking-badly drawn boy
Monday, November 6, 2006
This past week was a bit crazy. I got in the habit of staying up later than normal (4am) with some of my friends, and I made a few new friends. Halloween was fun but nothing exceptional. I passed out candy to little kids that came trick or treating in our hall, and I had fun dressing up as the female version of sherlock holmes.
Tommy and I had some choice words with eachother.
That kind of put a damper on my weekend, but on the other hand, I got a lot of cleaning done.
Current mood: anxious Current music: minor thing-RHCP
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